Have you ever watched someone throw a tantrum? Maybe you have a tendency to burst out yourself. Most of us at one point or another have had the um…shall we say, pleasure?
Maybe you have recently been on the receiving end of someone’s temper. Those moments, along with the people who inflict them, usually wreak havoc on whoever is in the room. You see, when a person loses their cool, they leave a path of destruction. And it’s usually right before they storm off– supposedly never to be seen or heard from again. I have found it interesting however, that Ironically, without fail, they come back! After repeated incidences, where we observe them acting out, then taking their marbles and going home, you’d think they’d finally make good on their promise and simply stay away. But nooooo. They usually return–just like the tide.
The amazing thing to me, is the “how” they return. When you least expect it, out of the blue, they reappear. Usually unannounced. All happy and ready to start fresh as if nothing ever happened. You and I, on cue, are then supposed to play along. Smile. Make nice. One thought here: Elephant in the room!
Strange if you ask me.
I always wonder what goes on in the minds of these people. I wonder if it even dawns on them that they have hurt people that are in their radius. But if you think about it, I wonder if they really care. Or, perhaps I should say, I don’t think they can care. You can’t act like that and care about anyone other than yourself. Stranger still, I have come to notice that they generally rationalize their behavior. I guess they want you and I to just “accept” the fact that they are supposedly “passionate”, emotional people? It’s all good– in their minds. Sure. Whatever…
A friend of mine admitted to me that she has been known to throw tantrums. She confided in me that the times she has “acted out” in life were the times she didn’t really know how to properly “act” during a crisis or difficult moment. Her ugly behavior was her way of trying to get people’s attention. To let them know that she was deeply hurting and needed help. Very understandable. I can appreciate that. But it doesn’t make for the best plan of action. Either for the person throwing the fiery darts or for those left to brush off the ashes.
So, what is one to do when we encounter those who (after the storm has blown over and we have forgotten all about them) drag back in like the dog? I guess the best response might be this–no response at all. They will continue to be who they are. They don’t necessarily see the need or a reason to change. Therefore, it is not our job (nor are we truly able) to “fix” them or the problems that come with them.
Perhaps, the best thing to do is to simply smile and go about our business. And perhaps a bit of healthy distance wouldn’t hurt. These folks will continue to burn bridges. You and I might as well stand back and watch the smoke from afar. Remember, where there’s smoke, there’s fire. And no one likes to get burned.
Just my thoughts.